What My 29th Year Taught Me: Three Lessons & Trust
In this episode, we talk about:
Why “never” is a dangerous word
Simplifying my business and getting clear on what actually matters
What it means to truly trust the timing of your life
Why I finally started owning the fact that I run two businesses
A few weeks ago, I celebrated my 29th birthday. And honestly? It was one of the most special birthdays I've ever had.
My husband and I spent it at Disney, which is one of my favorite places in the world. Just two days before my birthday, we had done our gender reveal and found out we're having a baby girl. Then we spent the day walking around Epcot, putting in far more steps than a pregnant woman probably should…. laughing, celebrating, dreaming about what this next chapter is going to look like.
And at one point, I found myself getting emotional.
Not because of what was happening in that moment. But because I couldn't stop thinking about where I was a year ago.
A year ago, I wasn't pregnant. We weren't homeowners or even thought it would be possible. My business was just beginning to gain traction after years of uncertainty. I had no idea what was coming.
And yet somehow, over the course of twelve months, everything changed.
When I sat down to record the podcast episode, I originally thought I was going to share a long list of lessons from my 29th year. But the more I reflected, the more I realized there were really three that changed everything.
Before I get there though, I think it's important to acknowledge something.
This wasn't just the year my business grew. This was the year I learned how to live again.
For so long, I was so focused on building. Building the business. Building momentum. Building financial stability. Building the next thing.
And somewhere along the way, I forgot to celebrate. I forgot to pause. I forgot to fully experience what was happening while it was happening.
But this year felt different. This was the year I spent almost two weeks in Europe with my sister. The year I ran the Dopey Challenge and completed 48.6 miles over four days. The year I hosted three immersions. The year I launched IME. The year we bought our first home. The year we found out we were having a baby. The year I crossed six figures in business after making roughly $5,000 the year before.
And perhaps most importantly, it was the year I started prioritizing myself in a way I never had before. Not selfishly, but intentionally.
Because I finally realized that if I didn't prioritize myself, eventually I wouldn't have anything left to give.
Lesson One: Never Say Never
This first lesson sounds incredibly simple. Almost too simple. But when I look back on my 29th year, it may be the lesson that changed my life the most.
Never say never. Or maybe more accurately: Don't close the door on something just because it isn't for you right now.
For years, my husband and I were convinced we probably wouldn't have children.
It wasn't something we went back and forth on constantly. It wasn't a maybe. It wasn't a "we'll see." It was a pretty solid no. And honestly, at that point in our lives, it was the right answer.
Looking back now, I can see that so much of that answer came from where I was personally. I was still learning how to honor my own emotions. I was still unpacking old beliefs and patterns. I was still figuring out who I was outside of achievement, productivity, and proving myself.
Then something shifted.
Around my birthday last year, I got a nudge. One of those nudges that doesn't make any logical sense but refuses to leave you alone.
I remember telling Dylan, "I think we're going to have kids." And his response was essentially, "I don't think so, at least not anytime soon."
Which, to be fair, had been my response too not that long before. But the more I continued doing the work on myself, the more I realized something important.
The desires we have today aren't necessarily the desires we'll have forever. As we heal, as we grow, as we reconnect with ourselves, things change.
What we want changes. What we're available for changes. Who we're becoming changes.
A few months later, during a hypnotherapy session, I had one of the most profound experiences of my life. It's not something I've shared publicly before, but it felt important to talk about here.
During the session, I connected with what I can only describe as a future child. Believe whatever you want about spirit babies, intuition, future selves, or the universe. I truly don't need everyone to agree with me.
I just know what I experienced. And in that moment, everything shifted.
For the first time, I could see a future that included children. Not because I was forcing it. Not because someone convinced me. But because I genuinely wanted it.
That one experience created a ripple effect through every area of my life.
It changed how I thought about the future. It changed how I thought about my business. It changed how I thought about what I was building.
And now, sitting here writing this, pregnant with our daughter, I'm reminded that sometimes the things we're most certain about aren't actually permanent.
Sometimes they're simply true for the version of us that exists today. And that's okay.
You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to want something different.
The lesson isn't that everything will change. The lesson is to leave room for the possibility that it might.
Lesson Two: Stop Building a Business that Requires You to Abandon Yourself
This lesson hit me hard this year. Because on paper, this was my most successful year in business.
The consulting business grew. I crossed six figures. My immersions expanded. IME was born. Opportunities kept showing up.
And from the outside looking in, everything looked incredible.
But underneath it all, I was running into a pattern I know very well: I was becoming the bottleneck, again.
I was saying yes because I wanted to help, because the opportunities were exciting, because financially it felt responsible, because people believed in me. And eventually I realized something.
I was building a business that required more and more of me.
More time, energy, availability, emotional capacity, and that wasn’t why I left corporate.
I didn't leave corporate so I could build a different version of burnout. I left because I wanted freedom, flexibility, and a life that actually felt like mine.
One of the hardest lessons of this year has been learning how to receive support.
This has been through hiring, delegating, allowing people to physically or financially to help, and trusting that things can get done even if I'm not the one doing them.
And it's still VERY uncomfortable sometimes.
There are still moments where I want to jump back in and do everything myself. There are still moments where I question whether I'm doing enough.
But what I've realized is that every time I step back into doing everything myself, I abandon the very person I'm trying to build this life for: Me.
The bigger lesson underneath all of this is that not every opportunity is meant for you.
Not every project, idea, piece of advice, or path. This year has been one long lesson in simplifying, getting clearer, refining, and asking myself:
What am I actually here to do? Who am I actually here to serve?
Because the more directions I pull myself in, the less impact I'm able to make anywhere.
Simplicity isn't just a word I chose this year. It's become a way of operating. And it's one of the greatest gifts I've given myself.
Lesson Three: Understand and Believe in Who You Are
This last lesson surprised me because it seems so obvious now. But for years, I struggled to explain what I did.
I would talk about consulting, then masterminds, then the podcast, then the Immersions, then facilitation, then software migrations…… all as different things I was doing and creating. Never able to lump any of it together YET I knew there were connections, somewhere in the mix.
This year, I finally realized something.
I am the founder of two businesses.
Yes two, not one. One business is focused on software migrations, transitions, and consulting. The other is focused on masterminding, facilitation, & integration through events and community.
And for some reason, simply naming that changed everything. Because once I could see it clearly, I could explain it, build it, lead it, and believe it more clearly.
I think so many of us wait for permission to own what we're creating. We wait until it feels big enough, successful enough, established enough, official enough, enough enough enough…………….
But believing in who you are doesn't happen after the evidence appears. It has to happen first.
I had to stop minimizing what I was building because it's real. And once I started treating it like it was real, everything became easier.
Bonus Lesson: Trust the Timing
Now this was a lesson I didn’t originally plan to share but right before I sat down to record the podcast episode, something happened. And it triggered me big time.
And to be honest, it was exactly the trigger I needed to remind me of this last, bonus lesson I have learned this last year. And it continues to show up over and over again.
Trust the timing.
This lesson has shown up in our most recent move to our new house, particularly the move out of my grandmothers home. It has shown up in becoming parents. In my business, my relationships, etc.
There have been moments this year where timelines got compressed, DRASTICALLY, plans changed, and things didn't unfold the way I expected them to.
Yet every single time, I've been reminded that just because something isn't happening on my timeline doesn't mean it's not happening exactly when it's supposed to.
Sometimes what feels like an inconvenience is actually an invitation. Sometimes what feels rushed is creaing space for what's next. Sometimes what feels delayed is preparing you for something bigger.
I don't always understand it in the moment, but looking back, I can see it. And maybe that's what trust really is.
Not knowing why it's happening. but choosing to believe there's a reason anyway.
So here’s to an amazing new solar year for myself full of so much more. I’m excited to continue taking you along this journey with me here in the blog, on IG, on the podcast, and soon to come Substack!
In the meantime, connect with me on IG and let me know, which lesson did you need to hear today?
Cat Roten
Intuitive Leader & Mentor
When you dive into personal development, you truly never know how your life will change. This year is proof again. When you do the work, many things can shift…. Slowly or all at one time.
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